Noah’s Ark Revisited

Amid the flood following his drunken reverie Noah still aghast that one of his three sons had seen his nakedness; began to grumble and as he did the ocean took on his pulse and Noah somehow sensed the calm his tweets would bring to the bereft. A passanger pigeon from Puerto Rico brought words that pleased Noah, “the Mayor of San Juan…was very complimentary.” But suddenly Noah became irate as a second passenger pigeon revealed that the Mayor of San Juan said, “This is the time to reveal our “true colors.” She said, We need more.”

Noah could not believe his ears and responded in such a way that all the pairs of animals wondered if maybe, just maybe a new ass had been created without their knowledge. But when they looked over Sarah and Cheney were in their stall too busy fighting red ants which meant no harm other than to nibble from their backsides pieces of errant shit that hang on the strands of hair that grow too long after having lived a good life. One thing that could be said about Sarah and Cheney, they both lived a good life.

Well as for Noah he began to resent the Mayor of San Juan. Noah even said, “Such poor leadership ability by the Mayor of San Juan…they want everything done for them.” But Noah then received word from another passenger pigeon and as his incredibly small hands wrestled with the pigeon’s leg; the look on Noah’s face changed dramatically as he read that, “10,000 Federal workers now on island doing a fantastic job.” He beamed and said to no one in particular, “You see told you, MAGA, BABY WE’RE DOING GREAT!

The pairs of animals as they swerved sideways, up and down, many too sick to comment were only too happy to listen to the lion, elephant and owl who seemed to have a better understanding of what was taking place.

The lion believed that Noah’s strength was in his belief of his moral conviction. The elephant stuck to party lines and survived the flood; meanwhile the owl believed that Noah would go “straight to hell. No long lines for you. Someone will say, “Right this way, sir.” The owl who had just arisen from his nocturnal activities even added, “They’ll clear a path.”

Noah who seemed to be either tone deaf or senile just smiled and as he addressed his three sons he unfurled a long red piece of cloth much like a tie which he placed around his neck and after making a knot, Noah noticed that the tie covered his loins and as he was proud of the tie and wished to keep it clean he used his small hands to gather the cloth revealing…a small rash around the periphery of God’s gift.

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